I know it would be boring if we were all the same…

November 29, 2007

but someone should really stop Nicky Watson from appearing on TV any more.

Not only is she rich, an ex-model and on every channel, but she’s also astonishingly stupid. Not, however, as stupid as the network exec who decided to spend more than six minutes in a 30 minute NEWS SHOW covering the loss of her pet dog Cricket.

That’s right, instead of foreign affairs, domestic politics, business or crime, TV One’s Close Up ran an entire segment on this woman’s fruitless search for her missing dog.

I’m not sure which is more appalling, her lack of ability to spell (she’s hunting for a small dog, breed (apparently) ‘chiwawa’ according to her poster), the decision to run a story on Cricket’s disappearance or this snippet which has been carefully included for your viewing pleasure. You be the judge.


8 Responses to “I know it would be boring if we were all the same…”

  1. Mysterious Dave Mathers Says:

    Preaching to the choir here, Audent.

    Of all the “Woman’s weekly favourite”, “World famous in Auckland”, and “Star Personalities” somehow self selected motley crew appearing in the media’s celebrity list, she really is a shining example of what is real vacuous about their selection. Be prepared for a bit of a rant.

    Ms Watson’s prime attributes are: bottle blonde hair; a degree of natural height the ability to sleep with men involved with rugby league; an uncanny expression which seems immune to reflecting any change of emotion or thought that may be occuring beneath its unsettling surface, and the obvious; a large, somewhat ungainly, financially-enhanced bust.

    Of all these attributes, its the seemingly unmoving expression that freaks me out most. Either she is deeply inscrutible, hiding the mighty forces of thought that swell beneath the face, or, it’s like a cover over a very empty pot.

    Somehow, Ms Watson seems to have a free ticket to the telly, and she is not alone, there are more out there, queing to appear on “Celebrity Treasure Island”. I wonder if anyone has done the cost benefit analysis of the value to the media in money generated by celebrities, or do they just take the agent’s word for it?

  2. audent Says:

    Botox. It’s the answer to most of your questions. Having body fat sucked from one part and injected into another is probably not that good for you.

    Six minutes on Close Up? For a lost chiwawa? No, that’s not acceptable.

  3. Mysterious Dave Mathers Says:

    Not if the story isn’t “Celebrity isn’t able to spell Chihuahua!” or, “Celebrity owns spa pool – but not a dictionary!”

    Botox, of course! How silly of me, I should have known that. It’s just that as she has been in the media for a while now without any expression. It seems likely that Ms Watson would have started using Botox shortly after leaving school…

  4. mysparetime1977 Says:

    Leaving school…you really think she finished? Judging by the speling and the grmer I think not…

    Good on her though, she’s living the life, and can afford to take three days off, running round with her Dolphin torch…that’s freedom…right there!!!! (I used the !!! because I know you like them P)

  5. Mysterious Dave Mathers Says:

    I wouldn’t like to guess under what sort of conditions Ms Watson left school mysparetime1977. I’m begining to seriously wonder not how slack she may have been at school, but whether she was able to figure out what a school was actually organised to do during her entire “academic’ career! I can just envision an empty headed girl fifth-former(again), sitting in a classroom staring at the walls as a disconnected tone played in her head as she wondering – who was the dude at the front of the class, and does he play rugby league?

    I took a quick moment to hear the link. I knew it would be annoying, but I’d do it anyway. I was worried that it would be minutes long and I’m at work, but the few seconds that Audent tastefully posted were just precious.

    Interviewer: You’re horse.
    Ms Watson: No, my dog!

    Any editor would tell you that the readers would not believe anyone could be so stupid, if that line was written a fiction…

    “Freedom’s just another word for”… not understanding what’s going on?

  6. […] understand you’re a little miffed that we’re not taking your heartfelt loss seriously and that poor wee Cricket could be lying under a bush, injured, starving, in need of a […]

  7. […] I am sorry for Nicky. Mostly, I’m sorry for us for having to bear witness to Nicky being sad. Posted by audent Filed in Uncategorized Tags: bull terrier, chihuahua, chiwawa, cricket, jack […]

  8. […] 4, 2007 Not content with inflicting Nicky Watson on us, AGAIN. Not content with spending nearly seven minutes discussing a missing dog (species unknown or […]

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