Children and video games should be banned

April 13, 2008

Serious post now.

My children have begun playing video games on the computer. Currently, this is the source of some friction in my house as the main PC has died a death, meaning we have TWO children fighting (literally at times) over ONE laptop.

The laptop is old and antiquated so they can’t do much with it (the clockwork handle can be something of a chore when you’re not yet four) but they do like to play games and here’s where my problem arises.

The noise alone is driving me nuts. I mean, seriously, who wants to listen to Beethoven or Brahms or worse still, Bach. Darn you, Little Einsteins (TM) website with your Learning and your Education.

And then there’s Winnie the Goddamed Pooh. That’s right, the yeller feller himself, who insists on them learning the alphabet and how to count. My god, who are these people and why are they interfering in my life? I’ve got a three year old who can count to 13 unaided. What do they think will happen when my turbo-charged brat arrives at school, eh? The teachers will go berserk!

It’s no better with the older one, who is six, who now knows how to formulate an argument and to hold her own in a debate, much to her mother’s “delight”. Oh yeah, she’s also discovered air quotes so she’ll say things like ‘Dad, it’s time for you to make a “decision”.’ which is closer to the truth than I’m comfortable with. Today she has decided to become a ‘TV “reporter”, which actually makes my old print reporter’s heart glad.

No, I’m afraid it’s time to take a stand. Children should be seen and not heard. Won’t someone think of the damage they’re inflicting by educating my children before they start to corrupt young minds with all this learning. And what about the TV producers? My two won’t sit still for something facile and banal and if television can’t do pointless, mindless garbage, where will we be?

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