July 22, 2008

This is how I make a ham sandwich.


Ham (I like champagne ham, thick cut)
Bread (how does one say ciabata? is it “chow batta” or “see ya batta”? I never know).
Butter (well strictly speaking it should be cholesterol reducing marge but meh).
Wholegrain mustard.

Slap butter on bread, coat with mustard, add ham. Cut in half, eat.

This is how my wife makes a ham sandwich:

Enough for approximately 30 to 40 bite size sandwiches

12oz (325g) best quality, thinly sliced ham
1 loaf brown bread, thin-sliced
1 stick (4oz) unsalted butter at room temperature
1 level dessertspoon wholegrain mustard
2 scallions (spring onions) very finely sliced
2oz (50g) Parmig1ano Reggiano shavings
salt and freshly milled black pepper


* In a mixing bowl, cream together the butter, mustard and sliced scallions. Season to taste with salt and freshly milled black pepper.

* Spread one side of each slice of bread with the butter.

* Cover each side of half of the bread slices with a layer of the thinly sliced ham. Sprinkle over the parmesan shavings and season with a little freshly milled black pepper.

* Lay a slice of buttered bread over the top of each sandwich and press down lightly.

* Trim the crusts off each sandwich. Now cut them into either 3 rectangles, 4 triangles, 4 squares or 4 octagonals (squares with the corners trimmed off).

* Arrange the sandwiches neatly on a serving platter and garnish lightly with sprigs of watercress. Serve immediately.

This is not to say I dislike when my wife makes me a sammidge. Hardly! But I now weigh close to 300lbs and I can’t account for it.

Love you, honey.

5 Responses to “Sammidges”

  1. Mysterious Dave Mather Says:

    I thought you were 300lb because of all the pies…

  2. audent Says:

    I’ll have you know I’m one week into a training regime that will see me run half a marathon on or around my birfday… unless I feel unwell or can’t be bothered.

  3. Mysterious Dave Mather Says:

    Good Lord! A birthday this year? But doesn’t your birthday fall in the middle of Boozetember? How could your training survive?

  4. audent Says:

    My training will have to pause briefly… failing that, my ability to lunch will be severely compromised and I will end up being sick into a silver champagne bucket (seen it happen to a journo) while someone keeps my hair out of my … eyes.

  5. Mysterious Dave Mather Says:

    Who’s hair? And if it is yours, your hair from where? Not from the top of your head obviously.


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