WMD

August 28, 2008

I saw a mouse…
Where?
There, on the stair…

Yes, I have a mouse in the house. And he’s proving to be … elusive.

I’m not saying I’m being outsmarted by a rodent, but so far he’s eaten into the guinea pig’s food bag (which is how I realised he was there) and then (when I moved the food bag to a secure location and replaced it with the kitty litter bag) he ate into that as well!

Oh how I laughed. Ha, stupid mouse, I thought. You thought “Yum, more tasty seeds and nuts and dried banana. I shall gnaw through this large orange sack to morsels o’goodness” but no, you got… white powdery rocks! Rocks! Ha, take that mouse!

Clearly at that point, the mouse decided “Dis means wah” and it was all on. Mouse turds everywhere, newspapers chewed up for bedding… clearly I had to retaliate.

I escalated our situation from ‘Fiji Coup’ to ‘Chechnya’ by buying two mousetraps. They’re not good quality traps – both cost $1.99 from the supermarket – but they seemed simple but lethal, in a home made kind of way.

I laid the traps both with Camembert cheese (ooey and gooey and hard to get off the prong, thus ensure the trap would be triggered).

The next day both traps were devoid of cheese and neither had been triggered.

Hmmm.

I assessed the situation. Clearly here was a mouse worth his measure. A worthy adversary.

I played with the traps, moving them from clumsy to hair trigger, reset them with colby cheese and laid them out.

That evening I checked again and bugger me but the little shit had not only got the cheese, he’d somehow triggered the traps without incurring injury!

WTF?

Swiftly I moved from ‘Chechnya’ setting to full out ‘Invading Poland’ and went for the weapon of mouse destruction: peanut butter.

I coated the cheese in the sticky goodness and left the trap so close to trigger point that a deep breath by either of the guinea pigs would result in it going off.

The second trap failed instantly and managed to snap the metal bar that holds the spring back, so that went in the bin.

Late last night we heard a distinct “snap” from outside and assumed it was the trap going off.

This morning I discovered cheese, nibbled, and peanut butter (presumably slurped off from safe distance), an UNTRIGGERED TRAP and no dead mouse.

Tonight I’m going on a stakeout and will take my shotgun. Tonight, Mickey will sleep with the fishes.

PS – I know the mouse is possibly a girl, but for some reason in my head he’s a he. Go figure.

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15 Responses to “WMD”

  1. Mysterious Dave Mather Says:

    Have you considered getting the mouse drunk on some of your cool and refreshing beverages which you keep in your new beer fridge? Just pour it into a bowl near the mouse trap, in a tempting way. It might make him slip up as he attempts to denude your trap of yet another hearty meal, or at least very garrulous and chummy.

    Or it could get him a meal and a drink…

  2. audent Says:

    now both of those are good ideas. Richard, I’m trying yours because a: it’s humane and b: doesn’t involve giving my beer to any other munty little rodent.

    I shall report back.

  3. karen Says:

    I am very very concerned about sleeping at the mouse house next week. Will it be gone by Wednesday? Or shall I have to sleep on the top bunk with my neice?

    Karen from Melbourne about to be Karen in Auckland

  4. karen Says:

    ….and I tried the cardboard tube trick last year when our house had a pesky rodent….didn’t work at all…..I resorted to bait which was eaten and the mouse was gone….

  5. audent Says:

    well today the trap was flipped on its back, the cheese and peanut butter was gone and I’m now worried that it’s not a mouse but some kind of marsupial…

    I’m sure it will be fine.

  6. Mysterious Dave Mather Says:

    So, the mouse made it. Cunning devils mice. So are you going to try the shotgun?

    Another question, if you aren’t into giving your beer away to any “munty little rodent” why do you need a beer fridge? Do you really need 36 ice-cold beers ready to go at a moments notice just in case you feel thirsty? And how does the beer mix with responsible shotgun ownership?

  7. karen Says:

    What about mixing rodent bait in with the peanut butter and setting the trap, going for the two pronged approach to mouse destruction?

  8. Mysterious Dave Mather Says:

    I’ve a theory, it could be bunnies…

  9. Mysterious Dave Mather Says:

    Oh, for some reason my last post failed to quote you Audent, but did do italics. What I meant to write was

    Audent: I’m now worried that it’s not a mouse but some kind of marsupial…

    >I’ve a theory, it could be bunnies…

  10. Mysterious Dave Mather Says:

    After all… “they’ve got those hoppy legs and twitchy little noseys and whats with all the carrots what do they need good eyesight for anyway…..Bunny’s, bunny’s it must be Bunny’s!!!”

  11. audent Says:

    something bunny is going on.

  12. Mysterious Dave Mather Says:

    Mrs Mysterious Dave read this post last night, and she smells a rat. Too big to get done in by the little mouse traps.

    You may need a bigger trap.

    She would have posted this herself, but their is some difficulty with our home computer’s browser being Opera being able to post on this blog.

  13. audent Says:

    Opera is evil, that’s the problem.

    Yes, I fear it’s a rat too – the damage being done to paint tins/bits of wood/doors and windows is too great to be anything else.

    Except a rabbit of course.


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